The challenge of feeling

As a student instructor I observe more than I actually teach at this point.  I make mental notes of teaching styles and methods.  Lately I have made notes of who I do not want to be.  It is only one person that has made me think this way.  This one person does not realize that they are crushing the students dreams.  Last night was the first time I have regretted my decision to teach.  I felt helpless in the situation.  I felt that I was contributing and helping this person crush the students dreams.  I talked to someone after the event and to the other students.  I found that I could not sleep.  I even wrote my lead instructor a message.  I am frustrated.  I know you are not supposed to get too involved with the students. However, at this point I really am a student and just one of them.  As I lay awake thinking, the thought of saying something kept coming to mind.

I have had people in my life tell me I can't or I am wrong.  As an educator, I think those statements should never come out of one's mouth.

What have I learned from this incident.  I have learned who I will not be as an educator. I have seen my style start to emerge.  I see how one person can make a difference.  I vow to be the person that makes a positive difference.  I have learned that I will always feel but not always be able to act. I learned that I am professional.